Nice Day for a Wine Wedding

This is what a wedding is all about. It is not simply a public declaration of a bond of marriage, a uniting of families, an announcement of a long-term supportive commitment. It is an artificial scenario designed to induce extreme stress in the prospective couple in order to (a) produce a stronger relationship through shared hardship, and (b) show each prospective partner how the other will behave under duress.

Of course, it's not enough to merely make the couple tired, nervous and edgy. The people all around them must be similarly stressed to make sure there is no node of calm support available to either of the couple.

I'm only privy to the crucible the couple were tested in from the night before, so I can't talk about the weeks of wind up.

Step 1. The night before. We take over a restaurant. Everybody everywhere. Swapping tables. Standing in between. A fine example of Bistromathics. Ensure the father of the bride gets handed money from lots of different people to pay for a meal that was supposed to be paid table by table. The parents must be stressed too. A careful wedding planner will have also made sure that some parts of the wedding attire are incomplete, or simply wrong. The stress of knowing that the groom's trousers are the wrong length will keep the wedding party worrying even as they try to appear calm at the meal.

Pane e Vino

Step 2. Invade the town hall. Watch the wedding. Listen to the celebrant and appreciate his fine command of the Italian language. Applaud at appropriate times. Make sure the mother of the bride misses out on a drink for the celebratory toast after the declaration.

This section is a formal section. To induce stress, you don't have to do anything. Just the concern that this formal and legal part needs to proceed according to the book is enough to maintain the tension.

The Ceremony

 Step 3. Wait until the bride is in an exposed position, e.g. at the top of the town hall steps. Open fire with rice - bags and bags of rice. Cover the uneven stone steps with a layer of shiny hard grains, just right for someone who is unaccustomed to her shoes. If possible, go for the eyes. The rice won't cause permanent blindness, but watering eyes do wonders for meticulously prepared eye makeup.

The Martyrdom of St Ashleigh

Since they survive this ordeal, they're well and truly married. Now it's time to wind down the pressure. Everyone gets to enjoy this part, even the wedding party.

Food, scenery, company.

Even for non-drinkers

The homily from Father Seymour

A magical meal in the Avignonesi Winery's gardens

A Grand Day Out

No cheese, Gromit.
Not a bit in the house!
(Gulp!)
Gromit, that's it! Cheese!
We'll go somewhere where there's cheese!

- Nick Park

We thought about Florence, but decided to stay a bit closer to Cortona, since there's a family dinner together tonight. We had a grand day out, visiting Montepulciano and Arezzo.

Ascetic lion takes up pole sitting.

Some people sneer at graphic novels and comics, but really, what is a stained glass window?

Every generation has its obsessive doodlers. Sometimes someone puts a slab of marble in front of one.

And from this slumber you shall wake, when true love's kiss the spell shall break.

Statue? Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger".

In our wanderings we stumbled upon a gallery of mirror mosaics.

Beginners to cat's cradle should not attempt the duet configurations

Pardon me while I slip away to my happy place

Or is it just a game in my mind, Cortona?

Relaxation day. The girls had all headed off to a hens' do for the day. Dad decided to rest. Brother-in-law Mark and I set out to eat till replete, and then meet and defeat the streets of Cortona.

Pizza in the Piazza

 Cortona has views - vast views.

Check out all the majesty

Cortona has steep streets and narrow streets and steep narrow streets.

Do not adjust your aspect ratio. This is how it is.

 Over one side of the walled city, there's an enormous cathedral.

In one of the cathedrals.

On the other side of the walled city there's an enormous cathedral.

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.

And outside of the walled city, just down the hill, there's...

And one more leading nowhere just for show

The apartments we're staying in are old. Crazy-old. Even their histories have got histories. Mark loves this door:

Not all those who wander are lost

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

-- J. R. R. Tolkien


Our road leads away from Amalfi.

No more balcony breakfasts

Farewell Amalfi

The trip to Cortona had ups and downs: smooth ferry ride to Salerno, slight delay at the car hire office, some less than elegant driving (right-hand gear stick, wipers are not indicators, lane wandering), a wrong lane choice at the freeway entrance, a credit card swallowed in a freeway toll ticket reader, and some navigation confusion for avoiding Cortona's no traffic areas. No pedestrians were harmed in this pursuit, and no criminal convictions were recorded. I'd call that a successful day.

The family has converged at Cortona.

Browsing shops... Well looky here! A wee dram.

I like this restaurant: food and decor.

At first glance the lady at the next table saw whales.

They call it the Island of Love

It first sight, Capri looked just a little hazy.

This is my island in the sun

But it wasn't long before we realized that it has a split personality. Maybe it's not so much the Island of Love, but the Island of Sure I Like You A Lot But You're A Bit Creepy.

Riding the chairlift up from Anacapri to the top of Mount Solaro took us into the cloud, to the dark side of the island, straining to make out the horizon, seeing life on the island in a shroud of misty vagueness.

The chairlift takes us into cloud on one side of the peak

And then a few more steps lead us back to the light, to view the sparkling crystal waters 600 metres below.

Clear views on the other side

Back in the town of Capri, the gardens showed us both classical white marble glowing in the sunshine, yet with it, the dark distortions of modernity in the shadows.

A dark creature rises from the murky pool

The streets were full of the bustling euphoria of tourist retail therapy, the purchasing of sparkly strapped sandals and painted ceramic doodahs, the running of fruity ice cream drips down the cones, over the fingers and onto skirts and shorts, and the posing for happy snaps and occasional hilariously ecstatic snaps for FaceBook updates. But walk further down the street, glance from the corner of your eye, and the ever-present dark side reappears.

Moon Over Amalfi

The Mediterranean air is not always clear. There's a lot of vapour over its warm waters creating a haze that often makes the horizon indistinct. Tonight it was clear and the moon was extremely close to full - just right for an after dinner walk.

Lyn and I paddled in the shallows on the public beach. Lovely warm water but the gritty pebbly sand was painful for our soft soles. (It's unfair to compare these foreign beaches with Oz, where we have the best beaches in the world.)

I forgot to mention in the previous post that we saw a pair of dolphins beside the boat on the way back form the grotto. They only surfaced twice, and then were gone.

Sail away, sail away, sail away

Today we did a short boat trip to the Emerald Grotto. Beware. I'm in a gratuitous song reference mood.

Now sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

This is my Amalfitano lifestyle, whatever.

I just want your extra time, and your...

The coast along here is full of holes, caves, and other eroded features. There's lots of private beaches with access only via sea or a huge vertical climb (occasionally elevator).

Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge

The Emerald Grotto is a small sea cave with a below sea-level entrance for illumination and a land entrance for tourists. We were punted around inside the cave by some jolly locals.

Everything's heavy underground

Remember when you were young

A Lemon Coda. Nothing to do with the rest of the post.
Lemons! Big Lemons!

Yep, those are normal sized oranges.